Divided Relationships by Mary Queen

The most critical stages of development of a human cover the period starting from birth until three years. The quality of our future life depends on the way these phases are passed. If a mother was enough to warm and sensitive, able to surround her child with care and attention, supporting his independence while he was growing older, the child gradually gets acquainted with himself, receiving and deepening the notion of his self, learns to use his resources, identifies and accepts his limitations.

This is a perfect scenario. The life of Such people is free and easy. They take other people’s opinion into account, don’t lose the ability to hear it but, at the same time, never depend on it. The value of relations with other for them is in saving both their own and another person’s individuality.

In such relations, there is a possibility to give and to take, to agree and to reject, to live the whole range of emotions, just without the touch of real shame, guilt, and fear.

Life under different scenario differs significantly, and the critical issue here is not the drama and despair. Such people have to spend more effort, energy and time to live the quality life. A child is very sensitive to approval, and he wants to get unconditional love and acceptance. If parents didn’t provide him with such essential things – to be loved as he is – the child unconsciously forms such an image, for which he will be loved and praised.

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